


Love is quiet, love is kind

by Relenita



Category: Persona 5
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-22 12:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13763940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Relenita/pseuds/Relenita
Summary: Yusuke finally understands Love.





	Love is quiet, love is kind

**Author's Note:**

> And my gift for the ShuKita Secret Valentines for Re_Kioo on twitter :D!  
> Sorry for my lateness, but I hope you like it!  
> I tried to mix all the requests in a single fic.

_“What the Sayuri reveals is love, the pure form of the feeling in each trace, the colors evoking the warmth and the mystery of the recipient, how even the faintest glimmer of light can change our vision and the emotions behind it. While the tainted reputation of the work is now irreversible, we cannot help but think what else this paint hides---”_

LeBlanc is the perfect spot for Yusuke to rest his tired mind, but it seems the world won’t let him have that luxury. There’s a special on TV due to the imprisonment of his mentor and now the interpretations of Madarame’s  _Sayuri_  fill each talk show. Every art connoisseur now speaks about his teacher like they always knew what was going on but were pressured to remain silent.

He remembers some of the faces on TV laughing next to his mentor, congratulating him and making business with him.

His blood boils but soon subsides as Akira sits next to him, coffee in hand and a lazy smile on his face. He isn’t looking him with pity but understanding. He puts one cup in front of him, the other still in his hand.

“Should I change it? No one else is paying attention to it,” his leader asks while grabbing the remote. Yusuke shakes his head.

“It’s not needed.” He complies and sips his coffee, enjoying the rich flavour. “While the man is a farce, he raises a fair point: the  _Sayuri_  is about love, that’s what it portrays and it changes with each person who sees it. It’s powerful, but not overwhelming, elegant but not gaudy. A pure form, indeed.” Yusuke looks down, focusing on the steam of his coffee. "To convey the entire spectrum of such a complex feeling, that's truly remarkable."

Then he turns towards Akira, his eyes sparkling "Don't you think so? How the emotion inside the painting compels you to feel moved? Loved?"

Akira nods next to him. “I felt loved, yes. The  _Sayuri_  felt like Arsene inside me, like finally fitting inside myself. It felt like acceptance.” His leader looks up and Yusuke can’t pinpoint what he’s feeling when his grey eyes cloud. “How I know I can be myself and love what I find inside me and finally be free.”

Yusuke’s eyebrows rise up instantly, the noise from the TV now useless for his ears as Akira gives him a new view.

Always trust his leader to find another side. “I wouldn’t have considered such an individualistic interpretation. Most people see community, socialization with others. You see peace with yourself... Fascinating. You always look beyond the simple image in front of your eyes. Admirable.”

Akira coughs and interrupts the weighty air around them. “I-I’m not that  _deep_ , Yusuke. I see love too, but isn’t it necessary to love yourself before you’re able to love someone else?” He turns to Yusuke, sighing lightly. “I see complete serenity, comfort in what’s happening and what will come, and how love is still there, regardless of what the future may have in store.”

The axis of the artist’s world shifts as his leader looks anywhere but at him, clearly nervous about his admission. They're both of the same age, share similar histories, and yet their vision is so different. In retrospective it's ridiculous he never truly gave attention to Akira during their meeting. Yusuke can reason he was clouded by Ann's beauty, but he feels so blind after not seeing Akira's shine next to her.

Yusuke hears applause from the TV and he is tempted to do just that, however his hands have a mind of its own as he grabs Akira’s spontaneously, not noticing the tension in his leader’s shoulders at the action. “You truly are unique, Akira. The way you see the world! It's superb.” Akira smiles amused at his comment but relaxes.

_For the first time Yusuke feels a small flame in his chest._

* * *

 

"I have no problem with it, Yusuke. I was free anyways" Akira tells him with a smile and Yusuke cannot be more grateful. Every request is met by his leader's approval, the satisfaction of having someone supporting you all the time still shakes his world. "We could go now if you want. There's a few targets we can take down and we need the money anyway." Akira flashes him a smile and Yusuke chuckles.

"Thank you for humoring me" he replies as they walk towards the train station in Shibuya. Futaba is with Morgana, already waiting for them as they snicker about something. As soon as they arrive to their usual spot, they check there's no one around and Akira takes out his phone.

"Mementos."

The train station disappear around them, tendrils of bones replace them and Morgana turns in a vehicle. A similar transformation occurs in them, removing the usual school uniforms and leather now dressing them, guns and blades in hand. 

"Well, it's showtime, guys" Akira...no, Joker says, with a cocky smile.

"Three targets today, let's take it easy because we only have you, Fox and Mona" Futaba fixs her googles as she looks at Yusuke "Inari, protect the leader, will ya? He may get too into it!"

Yusuke simply chuckles and nods. 

The red hand grabs the gun and fires, unleashing their party to the fight. Mementos is an enigmatic place, the raw side of Tokyo comes alive each night they traverse it and Yusuke's hands grip his sword as he fights waves of shadows. Next to him his leader orders his comrades as he shoots the nearest enemy. It’s a flush of leather, satin and blood, Akira. Red, black and silver glistening in a deafening symphony of color and forms.

How a meek and simple boy can become exquisite in front of his very eyes?

Yusuke’s heart beats fast, adrenaline coursing his veins, a hound unleashed. He’s ready for Joker’s command. The ice and blades burst from him, killing the foes easily. Joker’s cape flaps as he jumps towards their target, slashes through its defenses and knocks him down with a well-placed bullet.

As the shadow collapses, Joker grabs the treasure and turns. “And that’s what I call a good job, Fox”. Yusuke feels elated at the compliment and without thinking he wags his tail. “Care for another one? I think there’s another in the next floor. Of course, if you aren’t tired?”

Fury turns to warmth, anger to concern. Akira’s breathing is laboured due to their recent fight, energy beaming everywhere, but his tone is gentle.

“I feel I can keep up, leader. I wish to” Joker’s energy is infectious, Yusuke feels like he can conquer the world with him at his side.

"Aren't you on a roll today, Inari?" Futaba comments as he does a combined attack with Akira again, his gun again warm in his hands as he shoots next to his leader, making all enemies fall to their feet and opening a path to their goal. "Our target is ahead! Mona, let's go!"

They all go inside the car, Yusuke sitting next to Akira as he grips the wheel, the rush heavy on them both while Futaba snickers. "The Wolf is in attack mode, Joker! Better use this opportunity to sharpen those fangs! I will lead you all to Victory and the Wolf will cover your ass, Joker!"

"I am a Fox, Oracle. Also Joker doesn't need protection, he's a capable fighter" 

Futaba keeps laughing, even Akira joins in.

"I may get distracted, one may never know. Let's focus in the next fight, Fox."

"What a diplomatic answer, Joker" Morgana comments patronizing. "You may get distracted. Yes. Sure"

Akira pets the wheel and Morgana purrs. "Yes, yes. Less comments, more driving, Mona. We need to ambush the next target"

"Full speed, Joker! Full speed"

The ride becomes bumpy between fights, sometimes clashing with their leader under the knowing eyes of Oracle. He feels oddly comfortable in the brief moments he's against Joker's coat.

_The fire inside him spreads, consuming._

_A light finds a way in the darkness._

_Later that night, his brush moves._

* * *

 

 Of course the day of his presentation is raining. It's a good thing it does nothing to stop their meetings.

Akira shows up to his exposition with Morgana in his bag. Akira grabs his shoulder and congratulates him, even Morgana gets out briefly to praise him.

"Good job, Fox" the cat says as he sees the painting, muzzling Yusuke's hand as he pets him. "Our last expedition helped you, it seems. It was pure luck this guy was free when you asked him to travel to Mementos". then Morgana paws Akira's face lightly. " _Puuuuure luck_ "

Akira laughs and teases Morgana, making him get inside the bag again. 

"I'm so glad for you, Yusuke. You deserve this, never doubt it. This is a fruit of all your hard work." Yusuke heard those words before from teachers and classmates but hearing them from Akira make his cheeks warm, making his breath stuck on his throat. Akira's smile reminds him of the light now shining on the painting, Hope now present on his life inside and outside of his work and yet he wants to smack him because Akira is selling himself short.

Again.

Hope and Desire is Akira's work if he's completely honest. It was his leader's hand holding his while he helped him realize the depths of Love and what the Sayuri made him feel. The dashing thief and the kind friend, the sarcastic leader and the caring man. Many masks for the one now standing proudly next to his work.

Kawanabe appears with a small diploma “Do you now understand what Hope and Desire mean? What’s Love?” he says while shaking his hand. “Your piece evolved, matured. A part of your world is now on this canvas for everyone to admire. But I wonder if you found your answer”.

Yusuke looks at him perplexed as the rest of the assistants applaud him for his painting. A photographer calls their attention to commemorate the moment but Yusuke's head is a bit lost, he barely manages to compose himself. Kawanabe often takes him by surprise but this seems oddly out of character for the older man.

Answer?

As the audience disperses, Yusuke looks at Kawanabe clueless."What do you mean? What answer I was looking for?"

The old man looks at him surprised and then laughs.  He always looks like he know more than he let show, maybe this is another way to help him realize something?

Yusuke feels like a little boy.

_Warmth spreads through him, like an embrace._

_But there’s no one holding him._

 

“Don't worry, you'll soon get it. I wish you luck, Kitagawa-kun. You’re in the right path, just keep moving forward. Wanting recognition isn’t something you should ignore: We artists strive to be recognized and to evoke emotions in our audience. It’s part of our essence.”

Kawanabe’s words dig something inside Yusuke he wasn’t expecting: How the desire to be acknowledged, to be accepted, is normal. It won’t turn him into his mentor or another Palace ruler. It’s just another side of himself he must embrace. However the old man isn't done, because he's looking between him and Akira with a knowing grin. “You have a good partner at your side, Kitagawa-kun. Cherish him, it's hard to find a companion who will listen to an artist!” Yusuke feels the heat nest on his cheeks one more time but now something tugs inside his stomach and makes him jumpy, as if fluttering just beneath his skin.

The old man chuckles as Akira coughs forceful.

Strange.

Yusuke looks back at the painting and his interpretation of Hope and Desire morps. It hangs proudly as first place in the museum but he itches to once again change it. Maybe Desire requires a dash of red to symbolize the crushing on his chest he feels each time he hopelessly wants to reach that incendiary feeling. Perhaps Hope has a new shape, curls need to appear, a red string, a gentle hand and grey eyes.

Akira keeps talking to Kawanabe but inside Yusuke a metamorphosis occurs: He doesn't know why his perception of Akira changes by each interaction in such an extreme way, but his admiration and respect now light a fire inside his belly. Hope and Desire are not as different as he believed if the euphoria inside him also starts a hurricane, mixing inside of his mind as his body let the storm course him. 

 

 _Maybe he needs to paint the fire licking his skin each time Akira is next to him._  

* * *

 

Yusuke hasn't been able to sleep these last days. In a ways he should've seen how everything going so well was bound to be a lure for a trap: Haru's tear-stricken face burnt on his eyes covered by Makoto's arms. Futaba's scream while Okumura falls in the interview. Ryuji and Ann's silent shock at everything and Akira, silent but terrified. Yusuke could see how each piece of his leader tensed immediatly, searching for an explanation. He noticed how Akira extended his arms towards Haru but was rejected as she left them all to contact her father.

However Yusuke noticed the pain Akira masks as their Commander. The weight of being the one who gives the order now is apparent in Yusuke's eyes and he's surprised by the need to console him. He can understand wanting to give some peace to Akira since he's a good confidant, but the sheer intensity of his desire isn't what he expected.

Yusuke takes Akira's hand and looks him straight to his eyes, desperate to make him understand.

"This wasn't your fault"

"Wha..."

"This wasn't your fault, Akira. Something else happened, I know it."Yusuke knows it's not admiration what moves his hand towards his leader's shoulder to stabilize him. Friendship isn't enough to lower his tone and soothe his companion. Crush is a small phenomena to explain the need to erase that troubled gaze from Akira's eyes. "This is not on you alone. We all took the risk, Akira. He knew about the psychotic breakdowns, if we follow that lea--"

Akira rests his head on Yusuke's chest in silence. It renders him speechless.

"Can I stay here for a moment" 

What a humble request.

"Please"

Morgana jumps on Yusuke's shoulders, resting carefully around his neck. 

He doesn't know what picture they make right now, with Akira against his chest and Morgana curled as a scarf around him, but he doesn't mind. Yusuke doesn't know what comes over him to wish to protect Akira from his own pain. He knows his leader is one of the strongest people he has ever met and yet he wants to become a shield to cover him, a sword to protect or simply offer himself, anyone but Akira.

_Let it be me and not Akira, please._

Kawanabe's words now crash against his skull at max speed and he feels a whiplash inside his head. 

Oh.

 

 

> _“Do you now understand what Hope and Desire mean? What’s Love?”_
> 
> _"A part of your world is now on this canvas for everyone to admire. But I wonder if you found your answer”._
> 
> _"Don't worry, you'll soon get it. I wish you luck, Kitagawa-kun. You’re in the right path, just keep moving forward"._
> 
> _“You have a good partner at your side, Kitagawa-kun. Cherish him, it's hard to find a companion who will listen to an artist!”_

_Oh._

It was so simple.

The touches, the protection, the endless admiration morphing into something so intense and unique he couldn't see it. But now, oh now it's clear. The tangible need to adore Akira, to demonstrate his affection, is consuming. Yusuke's arms encircle Akira's shoulders reverent, enjoying the presence of the young man pressed against him as the epiphany reaches him. The world is exploding outside, crashing on them and Yusuke finally realizes he's in love.

 

 

* * *

 

As Akechi joins the thieves and Nijima's noose feels closer than ever, Akira still finds time to share an afternoon with Yusuke. It does nothing to mitigate the turmoil inside him.

"You know you only have to ask, Yusuke. I'll be right beside you." Flames. What Yusuke feels inside his throat are flames. This is not the slow wonderful feeling Sayuri provokes nor the sweet realization of how he likes Akira and now they can walk next to each other.

No.

It's more intense and that scares him. He will burden Akira with his feelings and right now cannot be a worst time to do it. Even if he feels like his heart is going to beat so hard Akira will be able to hear it. "Aren't you scared? Japan is blaming us for two murders, the people won't hesitate to condemn us for what others have done and I..." Yusuke bites his lip. He cannot say it. He must contain it or he will become a burden.

Sadness tints Akira's lips as he smiles and gently poses his hand against Yusuke's cheek. Akira never makes things easy. "I won't let them reign over me nor over any of you. We will come victorious out of this. I know it. I'll fight for it." The conviction drips from his words and Yusuke feels trapped inside himself. "Now, let's enjoy ourselves. I did bring you to the museum to relax for a while. Hearing your appreciation of the pieces always calms me. Maybe it's your soothing voice" The tone changes, the playful persona sets, Akira is scared but he won't let Yusuke feel it, just as he has seen his leader do with Makoto when she talks about her sister or with Haru during her Father's funeral. 

The contact ends and Yusuke wants that hand to leave a mark, something to remember it.

"Akira, I..."

"Let's go, Yusuke" His leader turns towards him and smiles. What Sayuri evokes inside himself now feels amplified, expanding and warmer than before. "This exposition ends today, let's get your book signed."

Why this feels like Akira is saying goodbye?

The works are superb, as always. The vases have an intricate design and decorations lavishly poured over them. A piece of history in front of his eyes and yet Yusuke focuses on Akira's face, how he reacts to the art and observing how the emotions paint his face with wonder. Their evening passes quickly and Akira, as always, offers to pay his fee for the train.

Ueno gets behind them in the train, his phone filled with pictures of the works inside it, Akira now carrying souvenirs and Morgana sleeps on his lap. It’s late and, as the sun sets, Yusuke is tempted to comment with Akira about the Katsumoto model they saw before leaving but the striking contrast between the profile of his companion, the orange sliding tenderly over his nose and checks, the grey from his eyes, the warm tone the skin takes at this light, the curls moving lightly with the train, shadows dancing on Akira’s lips and jaw.

Gone is the fire from Joker, this is a student having their everyday life, sharing a moment with a friend and Yusuke is breathless at the simple and tender moment he’s able to witness.

His fingers ache for a pencil, a brush, a piece of paper or clay, anything to commemorate this single image to his mind, to engrave it on his memories.

Oh.

He now lowers his head, petting Morgana’s muzzle, smiling lightly and the visage morphs: Now the light slips between the cat’s whiskers and Akira’s palm, the mouth colors red, the eyes soften, hair falling softly in rhythm.

Yusuke tries to remember any of the paintings they just saw in Ueno, the Katsumoto model, the sculpture near the entrance, but for the life of him, everything is replaced by gentle lines, a small chuckle and Akira at his most serene.

He cannot speak because Yusuke doesn’t know what to say, the words fail to arrive to his tongue, clashing one with another: from the harmony of the setting, the curious way his profile calls him to read each every single gesture or the fine line of his jaw that he wants to trace with his fingertips to reassure himself he’s not dreaming.

His conception of Love pales in comparison with the sensations in his chest.

* * *

 

His brush falls for the third time in the evening. The canvas is empty and Yusuke can’t help but look at the white as if it were an enemy; the one to blame for the current tremors in his hands and the clouding of his eyes. The mark that was left after the defeat of his mentor’s shadow is nothing compared to this.

It has been hours since Akira convinced them all into this crazy plan. Even if Makoto and Futaba were the ones who came up with it, their Leader was the one in danger. It doesn’t matter if he cleverly diminishing the danger with his role the entire time, they all felt it: Akira won’t listen to other reason.

“I’ll be fine. Don’t make that face, everyone! I’ll be back before you all know it”

He knows that Akira is trying to keep them from worrying, but he doesn't seem to realize it causes the opposite effect. Yusuke breathes deeply and sighs. It has been ten hours since they came back from Sae's Palace and the only thing he sees when he closes his eyes is Joker swarmed by the Police force, piling over him like ants.

His phone is vibrating non-stop and he supposes what it will contain: messages from his friends, a meeting in Shujin, maybe a reminder from Makoto to lay low, Ryuji trying to cheer him up. When it starts ringing he grabs it immediately.

"Hell--"

"Inari, get your ass to LeBlanc today. You'll spend the night here. Sojiro will talk at your school" Futaba orders by the phone as he hears incessant tapping. A keyboard? Is Futaba planning something?

"I beg your pardon, Futaba? I am perfectly fine" 

"You are lying and we both know it. So cut the chase and come here. You don't have anything else to do, right? So you'll come. See ya!" and she hangs up. Half hour later, and just as Futaba said, Sojiro is at his school requesting for him to spend the night on his house to the head of the dorms. Of course they say yes and he's off to the Café in minutes. Everything is blurry outside, maybe it's raining but Yusuke doesn't care, Tokyo can drown and it won't make a difference for him.

The drive to Yongen is silent, Yusuke cannot make himself speak and Sakura-san seems reticent to make him talk. However as soon as Yusuke gets down the car, Morgana and Futaba swarm him in a bear hug. The cat again climbs on his neck and Futaba encircles his waist. He remembers how Akira used to pat Futaba's head when she was nervous, so he does the same. It doesn't bear the same result as she swats the hand away.

"You suck at giving head pats, Inari" her annoyed tone contrasts with the gratitude on her face. "We need to go inside. Let's talk." Morgana is oddly silent over his shoulder, simply jumping to his bag and staying there.

"The cat also took a liking towards you? He's more friendly than he appears to be" Sakura-san pets Morgana, who softly purrs but remains silent. Yusuke is reminded in that moment he's not the only one affected by their leader's absence. "Please, go inside. I'll go park the car."

Futaba grabs his hand forcefully, dragging him towards the attic inside the café. Yusuke doesn't resist. He also wants to be here. 

Sayuri again greets him, but now the boiling shout trapped inside his throat makes the painting a minuscule thing on the way. Yusuke doesn't realize how much he wants to cry until Morgana jumps from the bag and back to his neck and purrs loudly and Futaba once again hugs him. When her hair starts blurring he notices the tears on his face.

_Tears?_

It wasn't... raining?

"What--- since when I was crying?" There's fear on Yusuke's voice. He really didn't feel the water run over his cheeks.

_What?_

"S-Since you got up the car, dummy!" Her shoulders shake as she speaks. "I miss him! Mona misses him! But you miss him even more!" Futaba's voice raises, breaking at parts. "You love him, isn't it? I know you do! Every time he's near you, when he speaks to you! The world shines! I've seen you! You're like Mom and Sojiro!"

The dam concedes and the tears flow freely, he trembles like a leaf as he simply nods.

Morgana pushes himself against Yusuke's neck, consoling him. "I noticed too. You didn't want to burden him, isn't it? You always reach towards that guy and he always receives you. Kinda corny, but it was enough for you, right?" Yusuke keeps nodding. Sakura-san brings a tray with coffee and curry, probably heated after a day of attending the café and leaves quietly.

Yusuke sees the cup and is reminded of Akira serving him a cup, a smile, the first meal of a day with a listener at his side, a stormy day with them reading a book.

"I love him so much, Futaba. So, so much I'm scared of my own heart." Yusuke takes Morgana out of his neck and puts him on his lap, petting him as he speaks. "Love was supposed to be this bright thing, the light of the sun and the warmth of a gentle flame next to you. Not... not this void. Am I feeling it wrong?"

"I-I think there's no correct way to feel love, Inari" she hiccups while speaking, still shedding some tears "But I believe Love also means you'll get attached to them, you'll worry for them and you'll have to be reminded that they'll leave someday. That makes it more... you know?" Now Futaba makes figures with her hands like explosions and Yusuke, in some way, understands.

"It's still scary. It's... too much at once. I feel like a need a breather."

"You and me, buddy. When Akira arrives, we will have strong words for him. V-Very strong words." Her lips shake, failing to deliver the warning as she's supposed to. It doesn't matter because Yusuke isn't fairing any better. "He won't leave our sight in the next future."

"I'll get inside his bag all day and night, Futaba. I'll scratch his face if I have to."

Yusuke ends up spending the night at LeBlanc. Bless Sakura-san getting permission, so now he can have Morgana curling against him, still purring. 

He wakes in the middle of the night and sees Sayuri, but Yusuke doesn't see it as a beautiful painting, but as a picture of his mother. So he sits down in the counter, looking straight at the picture and then closes his eyes.

"Mom. I think...I think I understand what Love is, Mom. I know you'll love him, he made me understand it." Yusuke breathes deeply, focusing on the smell of the cafe, the environment of the place, the familiarity of the counter. "I love him dearly, Mom."

He opens his eyes and feels he's looking at Sayuri for the first time: The vision morphs. Candid smile, acceptance and a warm hug. A wise advice, a tender touch.

Yusuke will see Akira and everything will be okay.

He gets up from the counter and goes to sleep, feeling lighter and more ready than ever.

He can't wait for tomorrow to come.


End file.
